


nightmares

by sophiielaurenn



Series: {saving all my love for you} [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, because fluffy is cute, idk - Freeform, just fluffy, no real plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2014-06-29
Packaged: 2018-02-06 18:47:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1868442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophiielaurenn/pseuds/sophiielaurenn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some nights he woke up screaming. The sounds would pierce the silence around them and Darcy would have to force herself to catch her breath and be there with him. He was important in that moment. She learnt that quickly. He would scream out into the night, sweat dripping over his body, metal arm grasping at the sheets around her. On those nights, she'd wonder if he actually would hurt her.  He could, she knew that, but would he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	nightmares

Some nights he woke up screaming. The sounds would pierce the silence around them and Darcy would have to force herself to catch her breath and be there with him. He was important in that moment. She learnt that quickly. He would scream out into the night, sweat dripping over his body, metal arm grasping at the sheets around her. On those nights, she'd wonder if he actually would hurt her. He could, she knew that, but would he?

Other’s he simply woke up and moved to the chair by the window. He would stare out blankly, as if he didn’t even see her body laid there and when she finally woke, missing his body heat beside her, he wouldn’t even follow her movements. On those nights, she wasn’t sure he’d ever come back to her. He’d be so lost in the places in his mind that Darcy didn’t ever see him coming back. 

Then there were the nights he clung to her. The nights when he couldn’t get close enough to her skin no matter how hard he tried and she wanted to wrap him up in her arms and keep him from the rest of the world. On those nights his cries poisoned her. They sunk into her body and she couldn’t keep him close enough to soothe them. And she cried herself, silently and keeping her body as still as she could so he never knew. 

And still he never told her, never said a word of what had happened.

_________________________________

“You can talk to me, James, you know that right?” she said, after the forth sleepless night that week. 

“Course doll, I’m talking to you right now.”

“No I mean you can talk to me. About the serious stuff, if you want to.”

He’s holding a coffee cup and she’s sure she can see it cracking when she looks at it but reaching out and taking it away would be like she didn’t trust him and she’s not sure that’s the best idea. His face is pale. She’s certain that she looks the same but there isn’t a mirror in that room - his request - and she doesn’t want to ask him. Darcy has to stand her ground, she has to make him see that she isn’t going to run away. 

“Darce-” He says, and she can see him pulling away. 

“I’m not expecting a miracle. I just reckon that at some point we need to talk about the shit that’s happening, y’know.”

He starts pacing, each way in even numbers. Always even numbers, she thinks, everything in twos and fours and she wonders if he’d break if he was forced to stop on a three or a five. But he looks like there’s something that he wants to say and she thinks that maybe if she stays still for long enough, he might say it. And the seconds weigh there like hours in her mind but she has to try. She has to have this. It’s been too long and she needs to know that he understands she will be there for him. 

“You’re pure, Darce.” He says after an eternity and she sees the hatred for himself cross over his face before he turns away. “You’re innocent and beautiful and - I don’t deserve you. I’m not a good man-”

“James-” she starts, but he puts his hand up to stop her.

“No, Darce. I’m not. I’ve killed. I’ve done worse things that you could ever dream and I like that. I like that you’re innocent and good. I like that you’re the one thing that’s not tainted. Don’t let me ruin you.”

“I want to help, James. You wake up from nightmares every night and I can’t do anything to help you because I don’t understand.”

“You do help. You help. You’re there, that’s enough.”

She wants to say more but he’s closing the gap between them and his arms are wrapped around him and she knows they have to talk about this more but now isn’t the time. They’re wrapped up in each other. She doesn’t quite believe him yet, she’s not sure she’s helping him but she can believe him for now because it’s so, so good.


End file.
